Let The Faucet Run High!
I am learning that I don’t have to slow down the manifestations that come into my life or control the way they show up in my life. Sure sometimes they do come in drips, maybe because I wasn’t ready for them, or lately I feel like it’s because I would not have fully appreciated the gifts in an earlier time. Everything was preparing me to receive, where not only my energy was in alignment to what it is I desire, but to also feel joy, gratitude and elation when it comes. It feels so surreal that changes in my life are happening. I have been living at my parents’ house in Indiana after living in New York, which I never planned on even as I was driving a big ol’ rental truck across states; never did I predict I would be staying at my parents,’ let alone for over six months. For someone who has had a complicated relationship with my parents, this new reality was especially hard.
And it took several more months of resisting my new reality. But all of this has challenged me to a new level of acceptance and surrender. You see many pretty pictures or videos on social media about “elevated” spiritualists frolicking in the woods or on the beach. Yet that’s not the whole truth. There are many sides of ugly that has been experienced to get to the “pretty.” And it takes deep courage to step into the unknown and let hard truth within yourself surface.
…I felt like I didn’t have
what it takes to fully come out and show the many
sides of myself.
I have been re-calibrating my energetic system to match the next phase of my life, in typed words it is defined and takes a certain amount of space in a box, but to experience it is another. There were many moments I felt like I didn’t have what it takes to fully come out and show the many sides of myself. Letting go of the artist ego that I should only present myself a certain way and hide the other. What amazes me is how spirit is always talking to me. Always communicating through my body. It can come in a sudden hit like a glow in my heart or I become excited about something I don’t normally get excited about. For instance, last week I suddenly became excited about a new cell phone and using it to take pictures and videos. Look, I have been living under a rock for several years, I have not been keeping up with the latest innovation in technology, and it actually has been a bit of a learning curve to get back up to speed as I start my own business. So this was unusual. I took that as a sign. Especially when it’s outside my usual norm. What did I do? I bought a goddam new cell phone. And quick. Here’s why…
God, does not punish. Something I had to really know in order to let go of from many past life experiences in indoctrinated religious organizations.
A few months ago I learned the really hard way of what it is like to not trust your heart and listening to your brain and the stories it makes up. My car was broken, the mechanic said he could fix it. All my savings wiped out in just a few hours. My car was still broken and could not be fixed. Before, I kept getting messages that this was a much bigger issue than what the mechanic originally diagnosed it as and even in my heart it just didn’t fell good. I even kept delaying the appointment multiple times within a month. All signs I chose to ignore because I was attached to a certain outcome, and frankly, attached to my Toyota Prius. After that experience, there was a deeper understanding that life did not have to be so hard when I just choose my intuition. Because god/universe doesn’t want you to have a hard life. God, does not punish. Something I had to really know in order to let go of from many past life experiences in indoctrinated religious organizations.
Even if buying a new and expensive cell phone wasn’t a part of this month’s budget, neither was getting a new cell phone plan. But it felt good in my heart. Joyful. I know that another thing I am learning to let go of is this concept of having a certain amount of money to feel comfortable, safe to move around the world. Lately, I have been anchoring to this divine light frequency of the universe, while observing the world that we exist in—is not real. The way our society is constructed to have to fear over our finances, job, relationship. Is just not real. What is real is love. And infinite resources at our disposal. So let the faucet run high! More on that in another post.
